After the plunge

When I finally opened my eyes
I no longer wanted to see
My visions haunted my mind
Even as the vivid colours burst in on me

Surrounded by the tall trees
In a small clearing I stood
The rays of sun tried to warm me
To recover from the coldness I withstood

The dense undergrowth came alive
With sounds so many and strange
Music and mayhem bound together
I shut my ears before my mind could derange

It all seemed so perfect before the plunge
Shutting out the old world, entering a new
Leaving behind the pain and laughter
Not taking any memories, not even a few

But what if I had been wrong in my calculations?
Nothing left behind, everything journeyed along with me
The perfect new beginning was marred by remorse
I remained with my past on my shoulder, facing what was to be...

THE END

Plunge...

It was time to take the plunge
I held my breath for some time
Questions and apprehensions throbbed my mind
The heart beat to a rhythm sublime

I fix my gaze on the surface below
Wondering if the depth will welcome
My heart tells me to have courage
To not get deterred by the outcome

The breeze eggs me on to the edge
The universe conspires with my soul
Images of the mind reduce to a white noise
Sending my sensing on a roll

I should not waste any more time
My destination is now within my reach
I turn around for a last look of everything I had
That I should not cling on to, must not leech

With one unsure breath, I let go
Feel my world rush past as I fall
As if it wants me to linger for just one more moment
Blinding my ears with its call

A cushion of water finally breaks my flow
New faces smile as I take the courage to open my eyes
My world now glistens beyond the palette of blue
My mind turns around to the new shapes and size

Quiet

I hear a certain hustle in my heart,

A rambling that is so faint and yet so familiar,

It makes me restless and peaceful all the same

It has been long since I felt so peculiar.

The horrid cries of despair begin to fade

A new emotion, a form of satisfaction begins to eke

I float somehwere between the mighty universe

and the life borne on a speck

A calm silence envelops my being,

The mind withholds the questions with reason

Logic, emotions, evolution and eradicaiton make sense now

At the beginning of a wonderful new season.

खुशी

एक खूबसूरत सा लम्हा था
हर तरफ हँसी गूँज रही थी
क्या बताएं की दिल को कितना चैन मिला
उस ख़याल मे भी हमने आँखें मूंद ली थी

ना कोई हाथ थाम रखा था
ना किसीके दामन कि फिकर थी
बस ठंडी हवाओं मे बहते जाना था
छोड़ कर हर परेशानी का ज़िक्र भी

ज़िंदगी की पेशगी थी वो हँसी
उसकी तारीफ मे हम रहते गए
ना अचानक कोई आहट हुई, ना कोई पुकार
हर लम्हे में हम उस लम्हे मे बहते गए

Time Out

There are times you want to talk
There are times when nothing matters
When you can pour out your heart
In hours of relentless chatters

I have lived those days with friends
I have shared enough to know
That all that talk does me no good
Sometimes, I need to just let go

To spend some time alone
The ceiling’s really not that bad
I need to speak to myself as well
Even if it makes me weak and sad

People change with time, its destiny
But I wouldn’t want to change a thing
I should not expect anyone to understand
Why to every sordid memory I must cling

So bear with me even if you don’t get it
Just me be for a while
It’s just a phase, it will soon be over
And I can return to your world with a smile

Suggestions

I live my life in stories
I search for the story in you
I put faces to your names
Every detail and all the colours too

I try to feel what you felt
I visualise the red, black or blue
I laugh at your silly pranks
In your pain, my heart sheds a tears few

Once you have told me a story
I hold you in respect anew
I contemplate your comprehension
Before I tell you my story in lieu

But I fail to understand your interruptions
Why do you questions the things I do?
Isn’t this the story that I choose to live?
My story, doesn’t… from yours, take cue

Why can’t I live each day as my own?
Why can’t I fall or celebrate every move new?
Why do I need to bear your opinions?
You wouldn't give up your story for mine, would you?

Hindi special

I thought it was important to put this on record that all my posts have been in hindi over the past few days simply because Buddy and I have been reading and discussing a lot of Gulzaar sahab's poetry. These are all pieces inspired by Gulzaar sahab. In fact, the poem Ehsaas, is my humble extension to his own work by the same name. All part of an experiment to explore more avenues and find new ways of making sense to myself. The next stop? Putting pen to paper, a brief effort to do the same resulted in disaster and one wasted notebook! Not that I am going to give up.