Forsaken

It’s been four months and yet it seems like yesterday
That you left me standing at the door
I have searched every corner, every moment
Hoping to see you just once more

How do I erase those long nights
Spent in your embrace looking at the sky
Fearing what tomorrow might take away
Knowing that you wouldn’t just go by

No, you weren’t like the dozen others
Who had nothing to offer but their lies
And yet I was right there, at the door again
How could you walk away despite my cries

I won’t complain of what you took with you
My voice, my ability to love, my soul
I see new hands outstretched to hold me
A beating heart that could make me whole

Yet every night I stand by the door
Waiting to hear your footsteps drawing near
Yet hoping you are warm in your bed, asleep
Totally unaware of what happened to someone you once held dear

Overload!

Too many thoughts clog the mind
Too much noise to peace here find

Too many pieces of broken hopes
Too much darkness, the soul gropes

Too many crossroads confuse the brain
Too many heartaches make the heart strain

Too many emotions unfurling at a time
Too many words to continue the mime

Too many things to say to be at ease
Too many lines anyways in this piece

Cry

There is so much left to say
But you don't have the time
So even if I call you up
You don't respond, you let the phone chime

Nothing stops from you from life
Curl up and sleep every night
Dream the glorious dreams of tomorrow
You don't have to see me fail the fight

I thought I wouldn't let you know
The pain, the suffering that you left behind
Why should I feed your ego
And anyways, you never seem to mind

But I want to see you rejoice, celebrate
Your pompous existence against my heart
Live your life, for you have taken mine
My voice, my soul... lost, till death sets does me part

At the Taj...

I stepped back on those very stairs
Trying to recall how it felt before
Was it very different then… holding your hand?
Did my small feet stumble or did I stand back and encore?

The pristine white and the silence and echoes
Every inch reminded me of your love
Did you also see how I danced in the rain?
Could you spot me from that far above?

I do remember running around the marble even then
Trying to pose for pictures you took
I was a princess then… and now, yes, I still feel the same
With so much affection in his each look

I remember that moment you held hands
Seated on the marble seats, you looked royal and how
I remember wanting to run to you then
I remember wanting to run to you now

Was it just the monsoon or were they her tears?
Was she really so happy to see me like that again?
Am I everything that you wanted me to be? Or less?
Did I remember you correctly? Did your memories of me also wane?

Listening to the night

Shadows lurk over the ledge
The light adds to the confusion of the mind
The overcast sky looms large on the moon
As if attempting a show of some kind

There is so much to learn from this moment
This that never was, this that shall never be
Yet it engulfs my very existence
It is also, strangely, everything I want it to be

No tears roll down tonight,
And I feel no pain
No, I am just lost in the course of life
No effort to sieve off anything insane

Funny how fickle life can be
A guiding spirit, a hope and a cause
Despite the animosity I did befriend it
With all its colours and it flaws

Did life befriend me, I wonder now
Would my other old friend just me go?
For neither shall exist while the other survives
Somewhere in my fickle mind, greed begins to grow…

After the plunge

When I finally opened my eyes
I no longer wanted to see
My visions haunted my mind
Even as the vivid colours burst in on me

Surrounded by the tall trees
In a small clearing I stood
The rays of sun tried to warm me
To recover from the coldness I withstood

The dense undergrowth came alive
With sounds so many and strange
Music and mayhem bound together
I shut my ears before my mind could derange

It all seemed so perfect before the plunge
Shutting out the old world, entering a new
Leaving behind the pain and laughter
Not taking any memories, not even a few

But what if I had been wrong in my calculations?
Nothing left behind, everything journeyed along with me
The perfect new beginning was marred by remorse
I remained with my past on my shoulder, facing what was to be...

THE END

Plunge...

It was time to take the plunge
I held my breath for some time
Questions and apprehensions throbbed my mind
The heart beat to a rhythm sublime

I fix my gaze on the surface below
Wondering if the depth will welcome
My heart tells me to have courage
To not get deterred by the outcome

The breeze eggs me on to the edge
The universe conspires with my soul
Images of the mind reduce to a white noise
Sending my sensing on a roll

I should not waste any more time
My destination is now within my reach
I turn around for a last look of everything I had
That I should not cling on to, must not leech

With one unsure breath, I let go
Feel my world rush past as I fall
As if it wants me to linger for just one more moment
Blinding my ears with its call

A cushion of water finally breaks my flow
New faces smile as I take the courage to open my eyes
My world now glistens beyond the palette of blue
My mind turns around to the new shapes and size